Managing Your Marriage

 

MANAGING YOUR MARRIAGE

Text: Genesis 2v15, 18 & 24; Proverbs 14v1

 

MANAGEMENT: (1) It is the process of getting activities completed efficiently and effectively with and through other people.

(2) It is like investment. Its goal is to get the best out of resources; add the most value etc.

 

MARRIAGE: Marriage could be defined in so many ways e.g.

1.     The legally or formally recognized union of a man and a woman.

2.     It is the intimate union and equal partnership of a man and a woman.

3.     Christian marriage is the covenant union of a man and a woman who have given their lives to Jesus.

4.     Marriage between two people of the same sex or with an animal is not a Christian marriage.

    Marriage is an institution ordained and ordered by God. Genesis 2v18 and Genesis 2v24. Marriage is the only institution that was established before sin came into the world.

 

(1) Marriage is supposed to be managed properly under the Manager of marriage who is God. Without God no home can be effectively managed.

(a)  Psalms 32v8 says: “I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.

(b) Matthew 18v19-20 says: If two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.

For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

We need to depend on Jesus:

i.                    For spiritual sustenance – He is bread of life.

ii.                  For spiritual understanding – He is the light.

iii.                For security – He is our Shepherd.

iv.               For our eternal life – He is the resurrection and life.

v.                 Jesus is the true vine.

Your spiritual life must influence your marriage as a true believer. Hence, don’t joke with your quiet time, family altar, family conference, family retreat and utilising the Word of God in all situations Psalms 119v11. “Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.”

   A marriage without Christ cannot be managed because that home will continue to be in crisis.

 

(2) To manage our marriage physically; in Genesis 2v15 God told man i.e. Adam to (a) dress (to take care) and to keep (preserve/guard).

When we talk about dress, it refers to covering. Its unfortunate most Christian women go about half naked not knowing they are incurring the wrath of God upon themselves.

   Husbands are to protect (guard) their wives (vice versa) especially in the presence of their relatives, defending them in areas of their weaknesses.

   Some men are careless about what they put on. Not to talk about what their wives put on. You must be your spouse mirror.

   For the man to sit among the kings and elders of the land, he must be well dressed – Proverbs 21v23. Such husband will have a place of authority among elders of the land. He will be known and respected in the public. Unfortunately, some men will never listen to their wives when they are advised to dress well.

   On the part of the woman Proverbs 14v1 says “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”

   Some women don’t know how to dress home i.e. how to be a good homemaker like the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31.

   They are very rough and never neat. The bible says our God is holy. To be holy physically, one must be very neat.

   Some women drove their men out of their matrimonial home because of dirtiness (Though it is not an excuse for our men to go out). The man should learn to assist the wife e.g. Assess the dressing often, buying clothes for her, giving money to the wife to do her hair, appreciating her dressing, helping her with house chores. Couples must help each other. Ecclesiastes 4v9-12.

 

(3) Managing our marriage even with pressures of life.

    We do not live in a perfect world. Our physical existence and survival and that of our partner and family are constantly threatened by difficulty such as sickness (Health challenges), poverty (Financial constraints), childlessness, accident, death, cares of this world, single sex, unstable work, unemployment, unfavourable income, economic pressure – 1 Corinthians 10v13.

   What should be our reaction to any of the challenges I mentioned? How do we respond to pressures of life in our family?

   We must always remember that Jesus Christ as sinless as He is, He suffered the pressure of living in this world. Hebrews 4v15 – “For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities, but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.”

   We need the Grace and Mercy of God to survive the pressures of life in our marriage.

Romans 12v2 – We don’t need to conform ourselves to the stand of the world.

Ephesians 4v17-19 – Don’t walk as gentiles

Ephesians 5v8 – Walk as children of light.

Ephesians 5v15 – Live not as fools but as wise couples.

We must remember that we live here in this world, but we no longer belong to this world – John 17v16.

 

(4) Health wise i.e. Good feeding.

There is the need to take balanced diet. Socials  have taken over balanced diet in many homes.

   There is need to feed the family well. Some family eat junks, especially this generation. Remember, “Health is wealth”. Good feeding leads to healthy living.

   Stop spending on mundane or useless things at the expense of your health i.e. Don’t incure sickness upon your family.

   In order to manage your health, you must feed well.

 

(5) Emotional Area of managing our marriage.

(a)  Zachariah and Elizabeth Luke 5v5-7, 11-17. They were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless i.e. they were emotionally stable. They were able to manage their marriage despite the challenges.

Though Luke 1v14 open my eyes to the fact that they did not have joy and gladness initially because of the prophesy that says “And thou shall have joy and gladness; and many shall rejoice at his birth.”

(b) Elkanah is 1 Samuel 1v8-9 was not stressed but wanted Hannah to be emotionally strong. He said: “Why weepest thou? Why eatest thou not? Why is thy heart grieved? Am not I better to thee than ten sons?

   Elkanah encouraged Hannah. He was not harsh on her. Colossians 3v19 says: “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Proverbs 5v18 says: “Let my fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.

Let your wife feel accepted and special like Elkanah did.

Provide companionship.

1 Peter 3v7 – Respect and honour her instead of beating.

Protect her and help her to organise her life.

(c)  Ruth – Ruth 1v16-17, Ruth 2v2.

   Ruth was emotionally stable despite her challenges. She still went ahead to tell her mother-in-law to say: Naomi’s God will be her God… she also said “Let me go to the field and glean ears of corn after him in whose sight I shall find grace.

   Couples must be mindful of their utterances.

 

(6) Keeping our homes from all intruders i.e. so called friends, in-laws, co-workers, house helps, children etc. Couples must never allow anything to separate or come in between them.

 

(7) Managing our marriage by obeying God.

Ephesians 5v25 says: Husbands, love your wives.

Ephesians 5v22 says: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

 

In conclusion, devil want love to be submerged but we must not allow this. Hebrews 3v3 says “Jesus the Master Builder is greater than Moses who only gave God’s law to the people of Israel. Jesus is the foundation and builder of the church. We are the church; therefore we must allow Him to manage our marriage as the manager.