POSITIONING YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE AT THE CENTRE OF GOD’S WILL

 

POSITIONING YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE AT THE CENTRE OF GOD’S WILL

 

 

Introduction:

The life of a man is full of challenges – Christians are also not excluded from these. In every marriage or any relationship, there are always expectations – great expectations – Yet there is fantasy and there is reality. Such great expectations may be in sexual fulfilment, blissful romance, cordial relationship, mutual understanding, financial buoyance and enhanced social status. Sometimes, things turn otherwise.

 

Positioning Your Relationship And Marriage At The Centre Of God’s Will

If, however, the relationship or the marriage is built first of all, on the foundation of God’s will, adverse events that may seemingly undermine the realisation of these or any of these expectations and which are capable of positioning the marriage or relationship against God’s will can easily be stepping stones to consolidate the home for greater achievements not only in our career but also in the work of the ministry.

 

Likely Events That Can Occur In Marriage

It is noteworthy that human life is subject to changes. Changes could be positive or negative. Let us see some of such situational changes and discuss how we can handle or tackle them to ensure that in spite of such changes, God’s will, purposes and plans are still realised:

-         Barrenness – Genesis 30:1-2, 1 Samuel 1:8

-         Loss of job –

-         Bankruptcy

-         Sickness

-         Loss of property

-         Loss of status/position

-         Disappointment

-         Loss of a beloved one (e.g. Children)

-         Infidelity

-         Disagreement on the vision/ministry of either of the parties

-         Higher status (of the spouse)

-         External pressure or influence (by in-laws, friends, associates etc.)

 

How Do We Position Our Relationship And Marriage At The Centre Of God’s Will?

In every change that may occur, whether positive or negative, there is certainly God’s position and it is only in maintaining God’s position that makes us position our relationship in the centre of God’s  will.

 

It is amazing to know that even in the beginning, when people started getting married; they followed due diligence and due process. Abraham, the father of faith, in searching for a wife for Isaac, sent the head of his servants who, after delivering his master’s message to Bethuel who was to be Abraham’s father-in-law, the latter replied: “Then Laban and Bathuel answered and said, the thing proceedeth from the LORD: we cannot speak unto thee bad or good. Behold, Rebekah is before thee, take her, and go, and let her be thy master’s son’s wife, as the LORD hath spoken”. (Genesis 24:50-51). It is important that believers’ marriage must follow due process and due diligence. In other words, it must be built on godly foundation and godly relationship both with the wife-to-be and parents-in-law except where God’s rules are violated.

 

Whereas, the Bible is complete and absolute in all matters of life. Sometimes, reason, opinions of people, norms and cultural position may be contrary to the biblical stand and standard. Thus, for us to be in the centre of His will, we have to be in conformity with the scripture. Every marriage or relationship requires conscious and concerted efforts to build and to sustain. Marriage is a union of two people (opposite sex) where both have agreed to walk the walk of life togethercome rain, come sun.

Among the factors that make a marriage to be kept in God’s will are the following which the man and the woman cherish:For the man: (1) Respect (2) Food (3) Sex. For the woman: (1) Security (2) Communication (3) Appreciation. To both of them communication and commitment play a vital role in cementing their relationship.

 

Marriage is a commitment. Every couple takes an oath of commitment at the wedding. After each wedding programme interviews with couples have revealed that each person usually showers encomiums on the spouse. Each claims he/she has found the best partner in marriagewho in every respect, satisfies his/her yearnings and longings.

 

No Basis For Comparison

But as time goes on either of the partners begins to draw comparison of the partner with others. NO COMPARE & CONTRAST!Each person is unique. Each person has different backgrounds but both partners have the same LORD and the same SPIRIT. If so, this should be the guiding principle.

 

Challenges are inevitable!

It is important to know that everyone has the weak and the strong points, the negative and the positive. Since both persons are to complement each other, the negative and the positive should rather be used to generate energy for forward movement as in a battery which cannot work well except with the combined cells of the negative and the positive. Couples should de-emphasise the negative. They should emphasise the strong and the positive points of each other.

 

Relationship or marriage that will be positioned in the centre of God’swill must be seen as a call to selflessness and sacrifice. It is a relationship of give-and-take which is anchored on forgiveness. It should be realised that persons in any relationship are human beings and not angels.

 

Selflessness is setting aside what one is for the sake of others. It is considering others before oneself – Philippians 2:4.