Parenting

 

PARENTING

 

Parents are the one that begets or bring forth offspring or a person who brings up and cares for another. Merriam Webster’s dictionary defined Parenting:

-         The taking care of someone in the manner of a parent.

-         The act or process of becoming a parent.

-         The raising of a child by its parents.

 

Parenting can also be said to be the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. There are four main parenting styles” authoritarian, authoritative, permissive and neglectful.

 

Authoritative parenting has a combination of warmth and flexibility while still making it clear that the parents are in charge. Children of authoritative parents know what is expected of them. Their parents explain reasons for the rules and consequences for breaking them. Parents also listen to their child’s opinions, but the parent remains the ultimate decision maker.

 

Permissive parents might pride themselves on being their child’s best friend. They are warm, nurturing with open communication, actively involved in their children’s emotional well-being, have low expectations and use discipline sparingly. Permissive parents let children make their own choices but also bail them out if it doesn’t go well.

 

Authoritarian parenting uses strict rules, high standards and punishment to regulate the child’s behavior. They have high expectations and are not flexible on them. The children might not even know a rule is in place until they’re punished for breaking it. Children of authoritarian parents are good at following instructions and behave well. However, these children might grow up with a fear of punishment and lack experience making their own decisions. As a result, some might become aggressively rebellious, lack social skills and may have difficulty making sound decisions on their own.

 

Neglectful parenting fulfills the child’s basic needs, but then pays little attention to the child. These parents tends to offer minimal nurturing and have few expectations or limitations for their child. This may largely be due to forced circumstances such as: working late shifts, single parenting, mental health concerns or overall family troubles. Children from neglectful parents grow up to be resilient, self-sufficient out of necessity, have difficulty controlling emotions, don’t develop effective coping strategies and have difficulty maintaining social relationships. They tend to have low-esteem and might seek out inappropriate role models.

 

There is however, a better style of parenting that can be a combination of 1 or 2 of the above mentioned styles. This is Biblical parenting.

 

Biblical parenting emphasizes guiding children towards a relationship with God, instilling values, providing for their need and disciplining them with love and purpose; ultimately aiming for their spiritual and emotional well-being. Prov 22 verse 6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it”. A child of prayer, as the saying goes, does not get lost. Instilling Godly values at a tender age develops an adult that fears the Lord. Parenting, they say, is for life. No matter the age of the child, there are still rooms for parental responsibility. This differs according to the growth level of the child. From infancy to adolescence, parents have the responsibilities to love their children with compassion and care’ providing for their children’s physical, emotional and spiritual needs and also protect and defend their children, ensuring their safety and well-being. At adulthood, they are to offer support and wise counsels. Part of the legacies in parenting are:

-         Maintaining harmony and stability in the home Prov 11:29.

-         Prudent financial planning for the children 2 Cor 12:14.

-         Showing their children that they respect their own parents too. Deut 5:16.

 

Major aim in parenting is to see that their children become mature physically, spiritually and also become parents. James 1 verse 5 says; “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him”. Biblical parenting requires Godly wisdom. May the Lord raise for us God fearing generations.